The Last Ephor

"My new THUG-THIZZLE friend told me that he wasn't even from Ohio and that he was getting on a Greyhound to go back to Chicago. Yet he was voting in one of the key battleground states? How was that fair?" This after Obama said they were lucky to have Democrats watching the polls. I guess he's bringing Change(TM) to Ohio. Unfortunately they're changing to Chicago style vote fraud to win.

Sarah Biden . Wow. I would excerpt this but it's too good. Read every single word.

If Liberals are right that the label is popular, why hasn't a single Democrat run under that label for President in living memory? Is anyone else beginning to think that the loser in November will be the one who wins?

Clicky

A partial list of Gwen Ifill's questions for the VP debate . I tried my hand at this yesterday but as usual, I am bested by Treacher whom I hope will extend the list. It's a bottomless gold mine.

Senators who voted No Allard (R) Barasso (R) Brownback (R) Bunning (R) Cantwell (D) Cochran (R) Crapo (R) DeMint (R) Dole (R) Dorgan (D) Enzi (R) Feingold (D) Inhofe (R) Johnson (D) Landrieu (D) Nelson (FL) (D) Roberts (R) Sanders (I) Sessions (R) Shelby (R) Stabenow (D) Tester (D) Vitter (R) Wicker (R) Wyden (D) I have a feeling this group will be touting this vote when they run for re-election and the voters will appreciate it.

Study Finds AIDS Virus Is a Century Old Um..what!? Previously, scientists had estimated the origin at around 1930. They did? When? Where was I? AIDS wasn't recognized formally until 1981 when it got the attention of public health officials in the United States. It got the attention of quite a few people in those days. The new result is "not a monumental shift, but it means the virus was circulating under our radar even longer than we knew," says Michael Worobey of the University of Arizona, an author of the new work. OK, what the hell is lurking around waiting to decide to wipe us out? Next will be a virus that causes people to spontaneously combust or something.

The Most Alien-Looking Place on Earth . Wow. So cool. Looks like a page out of the paleolithic era when Jesus Lizards roamed the Earth (and Joe Biden was making his first Senate run.) Snarky political comments aside this place is a wonder to behold and it would be amazing to see it up close.

In a new feature available only to Pencader Platinum subscribers I now give you news from Friday morning, today. (Subscribers read on, all others look away. Look away I say!) Friday Oct. 3rd Spokesmen for both Senator Joe Biden and Governor Sarah Palin both claimed victory today in last night's debate. "Senator Biden clearly showed his command of the issues and didn't roll his eyes once at that snake handling Jebus lover." said David Wade. "I mean, when she asked for clarification to the question 'what should we do about foreign policy' I thought I would die! How much more clear could that question be?" Governor Palin's team was also claiming victory. Ben Porritt, campaign spokesman, said "Governor Palin showed the American people tonight that she is ready to lead on day one. She didn't make fun of his hair plugs and was able to tap dance around the stuff we haven't covered yet." There were no sharp elbows last night as th...

Text of the bill Earmarks in the bill: - Film and Television Productions (Sec. 502) - Wooden Arrows designed for use by children (Sec. 503) - 6 page package of earmarks for litigants in the 1989 Exxon Valdez incident, Alaska (Sec. 504) Tax earmark “extenders” in the bailout bill. - Virgin Island and Puerto Rican Rum (Section 308) - American Samoa (Sec. 309) - Mine Rescue Teams (Sec. 310) - Mine Safety Equipment (Sec. 311) - Domestic Production Activities in Puerto Rico (Sec. 312) - Indian Tribes (Sec. 314, 315) - Railroads (Sec. 316) - Auto Racing Tracks (317) - District of Columbia (Sec. 322) - Wool Research (Sec. 325) No way. McCain promised to "make them famous". He better damn well start now. I don't care what side of the aisle their on if they're putting this shit into this bill they ought to be literally tarred, feathered and run out of town on a rail. Screwing around like this after you've been declaring the nation on the brink of economic collapse is...

Dear Mr. Paulson, Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Duffy Mr. Not Duffy and I am president of Pencader Bank and Trust. We are a modest concern with only one client. Several years ago we purchased the mortgage of a Mr. Duffy of Mayhem Manor in Pencader. He has been dutifully paying his mortgage on time but has, of late, made whimpering noises about defaulting. This has caused our share price to plummet and we may not be able to make payroll in the coming weeks. Please include us in the bailout for the modest sum of the remaining balance on Mr. Duffy's mortgage (see attached). Thank you, Mr. Not Duffy President Pencader Bank and Trust

Ah... Sorry to bother you... Brilliant.

Barack Obama's top team believes he can win White House by a landslide One of us is completely nuts. I think we'll find out in November and I really hope it isn't me.

I haven't done this in a while but I thought I'd link to a few things with some thoughts on the matter. Prelude: I had a crap weekend (which I'll detail later) but was relieved that I got out of the house 15 minutes earlier than normal. I got to work early and when I'm the only one there it's quiet and I can get stuff done. I logged in early today and lo and behold my virus software is going bonkers. I have a list of about 50 viruses listed. All of them are critical apps. Scrolling though the list is says none of them are repairable and have been moved to avoid further problems. It's every .exe on my machine. Literally. I find some other hapless soul here at this ungodly hour. He's got the same problem. Seems they modified the anti-virus software over the weekend and the package now thinks that any .exe that is not delivered by Novell is a virus. Whooptie friggin do. So the only thing I can use is the interweb. So, I've now been doing so f...

I hate shopping. (Wow Duffy, brave, bold stance there. The rest of us love it.) I know but since I have 627 kids, I practically live there. Last night, I had to stop in for a few things. I get to the deli and place my order. The guy is new and decidedly more upbeat than the typical deli worker. Some chit chat and a nearly completed order when a lady with two kids in two walks over. There is no one, not a patron nor another employee anywhere nearby. I literally could not see another person except myself and the deli guy. "Do I have to take a number?" "Of course." He's smiling but she doesn't get it. She takes a number and he looks at me and laughs. "I hope I don't have to wait this long" she says dejected. "What number do you have?" he asks as he handing me the last of my order. "41" The board say "13". Deli guy starts: "13? 13? 14? 14? 15..." The woman sighs and rolls her eyes. I have...

Ex-bankers on pushing customers to rack up debt : "Colombo said some people even asked about getting a $50,000 cash advance -- usually at zero percent interest -- for a down payment on a house. And although that's illegal, the former employees say they were trained to get around it by saying, 'I cannot give you money to use as a down-payment on a home. However, what I can do is, I can deposit some money into your checking account, and once it's there, the funds are there, it's yours to do with what you please.' Spokeswoman Betty Reiss said, "Our call center associates are focused on serving customer financial needs and responding to questions about their accounts." But Colombo said her performance reviews -- which she provided to CNN -- tell a slightly different story about selling tactics. In one, she is told by supervisors to be more aggressive: "You cannot sell what you don't offer." Another reads, "Understand the importance ...

The Bulletin - Philadelphia's Family Newspaper - The Case Of The Wartime Pope: The Historical Controversy Of Pius XII : "'For me, the wartime conduct of [Eugenio] Pacelli, as Pope Pius XII, was actually of secondary importance in my narrative .' Hitler's Pope has been criticized for its accuracy and dedication to objective history, and Mr. Cornwell admits that since its publication, his views have undergone revision . 'While I believe with many commentators that the pope might have done more to help the plight of the Jews, I now feel, 10 years after the publication of my book, that his scope for action was severely limited and I am prepared to state this ,' he said" For those of you who need a translation from Leftwing Academic (redundant, I know) to English: "I was completely wrong about Pope Pius XII but that's not the point. I was trying to fit the facts into my narrative. That is, I had the conclusion I wanted and was working backwards. ...

The Subprime Mortgage Primer Sad, funny and brilliant all at the same time.

You are a Social Liberal (63% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (71% permissive) You are best described as a: Libertarian Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also : The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

“When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the princes of greed. He said, ‘look, here’s what happened.’” I've heard 8 years of "Bush is a Moron" and Biden slings this stuff around and not a peep out of anyone on the left let alone the MSM. He should be roundly mocked for such stupidity. I'd like to book him on "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader."