Greatest heckler ever
glumbert - Unstoppable heckler
Posts
Your daily Joe
Joe Biden visits Delaware's new Baby Prison which houses the children of his political enemies.
One Sentence III
When I told my 6 year old we had to hurry, he ran off ahead of me yelling "Start the plane Jock!" (For the record I have no idea where he's heard this as we've never let him watch the movie.)
Scene from a wedding
Dateline: 11/14/98 Duffy's Mom: Is that a bagpiper? Duffy: Yes Random guest: You're not supposed to have bagpipes at a wedding. They're only supposed to be used in war or death. Duffy: Marriages usually end in one or the other. Random Guest: Good point. Play on piper! Happy Anniversary Jennifer and Steve!
Best search ever
Metairie, Louisiana arrived from google.com on "Pencader Days: Guy catches .50 BMG ricochet to the head" by searching for bmg ricochet. I can't imagine why one is searching for "BMG ricochet". Are you trying to cause one or has it already happened? If it's the latter there are about a beeelion pages more helpful than this one.
Gallows humor
via email: Difference between an Investment Banker and a Pizza? A pizza can still feed a family of four. This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife. How can you tell if a banker is an optimist? He irons five shirts on Sunday.
Fun at the grocery store
I hate shopping. (Wow Duffy, brave, bold stance there. The rest of us love it.) I know but since I have 627 kids, I practically live there. Last night, I had to stop in for a few things. I get to the deli and place my order. The guy is new and decidedly more upbeat than the typical deli worker. Some chit chat and a nearly completed order when a lady with two kids in two walks over. There is no one, not a patron nor another employee anywhere nearby. I literally could not see another person except myself and the deli guy. "Do I have to take a number?" "Of course." He's smiling but she doesn't get it. She takes a number and he looks at me and laughs. "I hope I don't have to wait this long" she says dejected. "What number do you have?" he asks as he handing me the last of my order. "41" The board say "13". Deli guy starts: "13? 13? 14? 14? 15..." The woman sighs and rolls her eyes. I have...
Quote of the Day
"Victoria Beckham went to the Marc Jacobs fashion last night with a new ridiculously short haircut, and I think I speak for every guy on earth when I say, knock it off. You bitches knock it off. Short hair sucks, every single time. Is long hair inconvenient and lots of trouble? Yes. Do I care? Not in the least."