The Last Ephor

Today is Global Autism Awareness Day. Donate $$ if you can. Your time if you can. If neither, learn and teach others. Too much to say about this and no time today.

Just decloaking for a minute to say that I'm still breathing. Thing have been, well, not dull. Too much to report at the moment. Some of it good, some of it not. If you've read this far and have checked in after all this time thanks for sticking with me. Updates to resume shortly.

Very very bad. Explanation forthcoming. Bear with me on this one.

When we last left our hero, he was unceremoniously given the boot by CandyCo in the wake of budget cuts. I moped around despondantly for a week or so. brow furrowed and mutering to myself. The second week was actually quite nice. I fell in with the rhythm of the household. Waking when the kids did and going through the day. Week Three: The longest break from work I've had since college. Getting concerned about finances. I called past contracts to see if they needed anyone and scoured Monster, Thingamajob, BrassRing et al. No Dice (if you'll pardon the pun). Week Four: I'm having trouble sleeping. Worry keeps me awake. My eldest is not sleeping either. He's awake @ 2:30 AM for 6 consecutive days. He does not nap and is very aggressive. Wife and I are tired. We fall into a pattern wherein I get up with him and nap later when the baby takes one. Week Five: Still nice to be off but being unemployed sucks. I get to spend a lot of time with the kids esp. b...

Since April is nearly over and it's autism awareness month, I suppose I should talk a bit about it. I guess the best way to start is to rehash the story of How I Got Here. My oldest was born in 1999. Healthy, happy and so on. One peculiar thing he did as an infant was to avoid eye contact. Our doctor assured us it was because he was so young and his eyesight was undeveloped and he was probably focusing on something in the background that was more interesting. Besides, babies don't recognize faces for a few months after birth. Only later did we find out that our doctor was an idiot. He was 16 mos. old when his little brother was born and he was walking and making wishes known by pulling me or my wife by the hand to whatever he wanted etc. He was fascinated with the wheels on toys. If you gave him a truck he'd turn it over and spin the wheels and smile. Only later would I find out this is a major warning sign. This was our first born and what the hell did I know? ...

Two Thirty three AM. He was up again at 2:33 AM. For. The. Day. I feel like death warmed over. It's like being hungover without getting to enjoy the beer the night before. He was very upset and crying and wouldn't stay in he bed or even his room. I have a headache of truly epic proportions that nothing seems to quell. I'm crankier than Keith Olberman at a GOP convention and my eyes are burning like I've been in a swimming pool for hours. Best of all? A birthday party for tomorrow for my son and, God help me, 14 other 5 year olds. This is supposed to have passed by now as the medication should be out of his system. If this is not a side effect of the medication and simply the new norm, I have major, major problems. Other than slightly increased aggression he seems totally unaffected by the whole thing which is, frankly, unfair. I wish I had half his energy. If I could bottle it and sell it, I certainly wouldn't be blogging to you lot. I'd be sitt...

So, the lack of blogging lately can be attributed to one thing: lack of sleep. No, it's not the baby, it's my eldest. He started some new medication recently and when we discussed it with the doctor she never mentioned that insomnia was one of the possible side effects. (Shame on me for not reading the fine print on the side effects). After about a week, he stopped sleeping normally. He would go to bed at regular time (circa 8:00 PM) and then he'd be coming into our bedroom around 2:00 AM. Up. For. The. Day. I have to mention here that the his energy level is also atypical for kids his age. He's 7 but in addition to being autistic, he has ADHD. Yes. So imagine your 7 year old after 3 Red Bulls at 2:00 AM for 8 days in a row. I'm literally falling asleep any time I'm not actively doing something. My wife and I are at our wits end. We stopped the medication a few days ago but this insomnia has not abated. In fact, it may not. This may be the new n...

Yesterday I was upstairs working and my wife and kids were downstairs not working. My contractor Father in Law was finishing the quarter rounds on the new floor in the kitchen. The phone rings and a minute later I hear my wife calling me. Panic rising in her voice. I ask her what's up and she says; "That was the school. They want to know if Oldest got in the house OK because there was no adult present when the bus pulled away." This is bad because: 1. Oldest is autistic 2. Oldest has no sense of danger whatsoever 3. Oldest is non-verbal 4. Oldest is not here I can feel the blood draining from my face. My heart starts racing and the acrid metallic taste of adrenaline floods my mouth. Now what? I get on the phone immediately to the school and my wife calls the dispatch office for the bus company. She is threatening people with grievous bodily harm if they have dropped our son off at the wrong house. I am simultaneously on the phone with the school and ...

I'll start off by saying that my son doesn't do well in the car. By "doesn't do well" I mean, he will frequently hit or kick anyone within reach for the duration of the trip. That little nugget lets you know why we don't travel to the midwest to visit my family. As I am not http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Croesus, I am not going to fly 6 people there. As I am not certifiably insane, I'm not driving there either. On Friday, I took my eldest son to see a behavioral specialist in Baltimore. That's an hour plus in nice weather. Add freezing rain and it's even longer. For added fun, we were about 20 minutes late in leaving which put the pressure on to get there with all possible speed. Oh, and did I mention that half an hour into our journey I realized we didn't bring his mid day dose of his medication (the one that keeps him balanced)? No, well, throw that into the mix too. Gas? Meet Fire. We've been working with his teachers and thera...

I've had requests to talk more about life with Autism. One thing that's difficult to convey to people with typical kids. My life is normal. That is, normal for me. It's what I do every day and I don't know anything different so it's routine, normal whatever you want to call it. That said, very, very few people understand my life and how it works. That is, things are often so radically different it defies explanation. Even with our own families I frequently have to explain (or try to) why some things are the way they are or why they are simply not possible. One huge stumbling block is when people fail to realize the importance of Routine and Structure. I capitalize these two because they are the primary drivers for people with Autism. Without them, my son cannot function. Literally, cannot function. The best description I've heard is the allegory of Flying To Holland. Imagine you book a vacation to Holland. You contact your travel agent to get some b...

As my reader(s) may know, my eldest son has autism. He was diagnosed when he was 2 1/2. Autism is a neurological disorder with no known cause or cure. The only known treatment is applied behavior analysis. Essentially, repetitive learning to accomplish tasks. My son does not speak. He vocalizes extensively and has an occasional word but nothing approximating speech. He thrives on routine. Removing routine is world shattering for him. Weeks off from school (like this one) are very very disruptive to him (and the rest of the family.) How so? Since he thrives on routine, if he wakes up and I'm not home he assumes its a school day and gathers his things (shoes, backpack, jacket) and tries to get out the door. If I am home (day off, working from home) he has an absolute meltdown if we try to put him on the bus to school. Imagine a 6 year old having the worst temper tantrum you've ever seen. Imagine again it lasting for an hour or more. People with autism frequently hav...

indeed it isn't. Foster parents get up to $1,400 a month. Natural parents get bupkis.

The Autism Numbers: Why there's no epidemic. This one hits close to home and is a debate we've been having in the DE Autism community forever (or at least since I've been around). Sadly, I have to concur with a large part of the author's hypothesis. Most of the reason there is an explosion in the apparent growth of people with autism is awareness and education. I'm not as cynical to say that this is largely predicated on people trying to garner more funding for research or whatever. Rather, there are more and more parents who see their kids slipping away from them and are desperate to get them back (count me among them). Personally, I think autism is a confluence of several things happening at once more like a syndrome than a disease . Some researchers have shown strong links between mercury and autism. One study showed that mercury has a deleterious effect on motor neurons but that effect becomes absolutely devastating when testosterone is added to the mix. ...