You might be a Leftist if....
You believe John Ashcroft poses a greater danger to America than Osama bin Laden
You think President Bush lied to the nation but his predecessor did not.
You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and Jeanine Garofalo are qualified to discourse at length on foreign policy.
You believe all conservatives are racist, but do not think minorities can ever succeed without Affirmative Action.
You can't decide which is worse: the Patriot Act or the Patriot Missile.
You believe Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, and Yasser Arafat were fairly and democratically elected, but President Bush was not.
You root for prisoners when they escape from our oppressive prisons, but oppose allowing poor children to escape from failing public schools.
You support every k…