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Showing posts from October 6, 2002
More on being a father: I find myself falling into some sort of Father archtype. Not as a pretention or conscious decision but rather, it just seems sensible and natural. In many ways I see reflections of my father. For the first time, I feel like I understand him more than ever. I understand his decisions to take the safe road rather than risk the bird in hand for the possibility of two. I feel the same way now. When I was a younger man and full of piss and vinegar, I wanted to conquer the world and take big risks and win the fabulous returns that went along with it. Staggering losses were fine, so long as the net result was a gain. I wanted to "live deep and suck the marrow out of life." To me (then anyway) that meant skydiving, backpacking across Asia, picking up and moving to Dubai or Iceland, or Monaco and doing the expat thing for a few years. Well, things didn't turn out that way. I met a beautiful woman and shortly thereafter got a job in Charlot
Reflections on fatherhood. Work work work. I'm weary of this job and am really looking for a change. I like the people I work with and it's not my job per se. It's just the routine I guess. I don't have alot of job satisfaction and am not learning as much as I'd like. Most of this is my fault. I'm so tired all the time and unmotivated that I can't give my best effort. I think I'm burned out. I haven't had a vacation in a LONG time let alone a day off in ages. (NB: by "day off" I truly mean a day that I can relax and do whatever I want w/out having to worry about taking care of the house or the kids. Such is the life of a parent.) I wanted to take some time and head to New England for leaf peeping season but that's clearly not in the cards. I was given a weekend in Jim Thorpe, PA for my birthday. No idea what happened to that one. It's the kinda thing where I hate to ask about now that it's....6 months later