News from the future!

In a new feature available only to Pencader Platinum subscribers I now give you news from Friday morning, today. (Subscribers read on, all others look away. Look away I say!)


Friday Oct. 3rd

Spokesmen for both Senator Joe Biden and Governor Sarah Palin both claimed victory today in last night's debate.

"Senator Biden clearly showed his command of the issues and didn't roll his eyes once at that snake handling Jebus lover." said David Wade. "I mean, when she asked for clarification to the question 'what should we do about foreign policy' I thought I would die! How much more clear could that question be?"

Governor Palin's team was also claiming victory. Ben Porritt, campaign spokesman, said "Governor Palin showed the American people tonight that she is ready to lead on day one. She didn't make fun of his hair plugs and was able to tap dance around the stuff we haven't covered yet."

There were no sharp elbows last night as the two candidates tried to keep their answers to brief soundbites. Gwen Ifil's first question of "Senator Biden, what is it like to be so close to Barack Obama's awesomeness every day and do you ever find yourself weeping with gratitude because you are so lucky to have been touched by him?" set the tone for the debate early.

Comments

a most peculiar nature said…
Hehehe. The best ! I may have to subscribe to your platinum program.

I'm not even sure I can watch the debate. Too painful. The Biden smirk. The Palin screech. The madness afterwards.

I think I'll stick with FARK. It is more meaningful.
3:45 PM
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