The Last Ephor

So Monday I'm standing in the kitchen making myself a sandwich. Kids are at school, baby is napping. Wife and I are talking about something or other and I smell the unmistakable acrid odor of burning plastic. I wheel around and see nothing on the stove. Oven is off...where...? My wife sees my dinner plate sized eyes and asks what's wrong. I can answer b/c I have a mouthful of sandwich and I try to gulp down my food while searching for the source of said smell. Dishwasher! Something plastic must be on the element. It's on and I open it. No steam and nothing on the element. The door, however, is very very hot. I close the door and see smoke coming from the vent that is normally reserved for steam. Shit. That is not good. I close it and the panel is dark. No lights, no numbers, no nuttin'. I check the warranty which, of course, expired in December. Fantastic. One phone call to Whirlpool/Maytag/Big Monopoly Appliance Company/Ha Ha Screw You You're Out ...

I'd have no luck. So last night about 6:00 the lights flick off, then on, then off. Pitch black and the kids are not thrilled. Eldest is incensed that the light switches are not responding. He's putting my hand on the switch and when I can't make the lights come on he has a meltdown. The baby thinks all of this is very amusing. Samneric* have exactly opposite opinions. Sam is ecstatic that he gets to use the flashlight and Eric is afraid of the imminent arrival of monsters. We get him calmed down and manage to get everyone bathed and in their pj's. "I wish we were in heaven. The lights never go off in heaven." says Eric. We read a few books by flashlight and get Eldest and The Baby off to bed. Suddenly, the lights come back on. Eric says, "Can we turn the lights back off?" This from the child who was in tears an hour ago. *Bonus points for reader(s) who get the reference.

(With apologies to Mr. Ayers for the hyperbole) An event filled weekend. First of all, I did something that I rarely do. I went out for the evening. I'm something of a homebody largely because my job and my kids pretty much run me into the ground by the time the weekend rolls around. I do go out once in a while with friends or dinner with the wife but those are rather infrequent. On Saturday I was invited to a beer tasting. That's enough to get me motivated and out of the house for once. The twist here is that the host of said beer tasting was hosted by Don Viti (Yes I know I'm breaking my own rule but more on that in a moment). My trip to the Fever Swamp of Delaware Liberalism DV's house started with this guy bringing my trip to a halt. I saw the car in the woods and knew that whoever was in that car was in pretty bad shape. Good thing I don't believe in omens. I follow ever faithful Google Maps to find the house and turn into the driveway. I park ...