Your Linguistic Profile:


45% Yankee
40% General American English
10% Dixie
0% Midwestern
0% Upper Midwestern

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Quarantine 2008 has ended

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Fair warning: possibly graphic post and not for the squeamish. So it all started Friday night. Wife and I had a long day (as usual) and had finally finished with dishes, laundry and the rest of the normal daily grind. The baby had been fussy most of the day and had spit up here and there. Mostly we thought it had been switching from formula to milk which can sometimes cause this type of thing. By the time kid #4 rolls around you tend to let these things slide. If this were #1 we'd have called in a medivac at the first sign of vomiting in a 1 year old. He finally calmed down and we got him off to sleep. We watched a bit of The Wire and retired (very) late. About 10 minutes later #2 wakes up crying complaining of a stomach ache. I ask if he has to go to the bathroom and he says no, it's not that. His stomach really hurts. OK, into my bed and I'll get the heating pad for a bit. We get him settled and he calms down. Knowing that he tends towards the dramatic, I s...
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So....the autism thing

Since April is nearly over and it's autism awareness month, I suppose I should talk a bit about it. I guess the best way to start is to rehash the story of How I Got Here. My oldest was born in 1999. Healthy, happy and so on. One peculiar thing he did as an infant was to avoid eye contact. Our doctor assured us it was because he was so young and his eyesight was undeveloped and he was probably focusing on something in the background that was more interesting. Besides, babies don't recognize faces for a few months after birth. Only later did we find out that our doctor was an idiot. He was 16 mos. old when his little brother was born and he was walking and making wishes known by pulling me or my wife by the hand to whatever he wanted etc. He was fascinated with the wheels on toys. If you gave him a truck he'd turn it over and spin the wheels and smile. Only later would I find out this is a major warning sign. This was our first born and what the hell did I know? ...
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This is very strange...

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I'm an average guy with an average life. I have a few more kids than most but for the most part I'm just an anonymous lumpenprole toiling away in obscurity both professionally and on this blog. To say my life follows a certain routine is like saying " The Hindenburg caught fire." That is to say, technically accurate but wildly understates the truth. In any event, I just received a call from The Wife. To wit: "Did you order something?" "No, why?" "There's something here for you." "Uh, box, bag, envelope, singing telegram?" "It's a box" "Who's is from?" "It's from [Name redacted pending confession or further investigation]" "Who?" "(repeats name)" "No idea. Never heard of him." A quick google search later I find that the sender's return address is in the wilds of northern Pennsylvania. A place I have never visited. "Open it." "W...
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