Life with Autism
As my reader(s) may know, my eldest son has autism. He was diagnosed when he was 2 1/2. Autism is a neurological disorder with no known cause or cure. The only known treatment is applied behavior analysis. Essentially, repetitive learning to accomplish tasks.
My son does not speak. He vocalizes extensively and has an occasional word but nothing approximating speech. He thrives on routine. Removing routine is world shattering for him. Weeks off from school (like this one) are very very disruptive to him (and the rest of the family.)
How so?
Since he thrives on routine, if he wakes up and I'm not home he assumes its a school day and gathers his things (shoes, backpack, jacket) and tries to get out the door. If I am home (day off, working from home) he has an absolute meltdown if we try to put him on the bus to school. Imagine a 6 year old having the worst temper tantrum you've ever seen. Imagine again it lasting for an hour or more.
People with autism frequently have sleep disorders. When my son is agitated (by disruptions in routine or what have you) he can go several days without sleeping. That's not to say he'll just play with toys or whatever. He is also hyperactive so he is absolutely wired for several days. Imagine going to work after a few nights of that.
Repetition is also very common. He frequently wants to watch the same video or do the same activity over and over. If I ever meet the creators of the Teletubbies I'm going to beat an apology out of them. Lately it's been Teletubbies Christmas in the Snow. It's an interminable video that's every bit as bad as it sounds. Perhaps worse. Not only do I have to watch this thing 7 or 8 times in a row. After each viewing, the DVD must be removed from the machine, placed back on the shelf and then removed, reinserted, etc.
If it's not those damn 'Tubbies, it's something like singing a song or counting over and over and over. I love my kids and I'll do anything for them but after a time this becomes a form of psychological torture.
To say autistic people are picky about food is sort of like saying that Germans are kind of strict about rules. He is very sensitive to color and texture. Virtually everything he eats is firm and/or crispy. Apples, pears, toast, crackers, cereal. Yogurt is Of Satan and as such is met with gagging and hitting. Milk is similarly evil. Left unattended it will be either dumped in the sink (glasses) or returned immediately to the fridge (gallon). If I attempt to poison my body with milk from a clear glass my son will make noises indicating distress and hit me. He thinks I'm deliberately trying to provoke him.
He also hits his brothers. Not when he's mad at them. When he's mad at me or my wife. He does it to get our attention as we ignore him if he hits us. How do you explain to a 4 year old that his brother hits him because he's mad at me?
My 4 year old dubbed him the "hitting brother" yesterday. Broke my heart.
When I ask the boys about their brother and understand that he's different they'll say, "He doesn't talk." That's very hard to hear.
Being the parent of an autistic child means always, always being vigilant. My son has no fear, no sense of danger and frequently doesn't answer to his name. He has a condition called pica which means he eats all sorts of things he's not supposed to. Imagine having a giant 60 lbs. toddler.
Vacuuming the house leads to epic meltdowns. Haircuts are full contact affairs that leave both me and him winded, sweaty and covered in hair. Doctors visits are worst of all. The dread that arises in my gorge just thinking about it is enough to give me an anxiety attack.
I will have to care for him for the rest of my life and will worry about who will care for him when I'm gone. I have to structure my finances around caring for him in his old age, not me in mine. In all likelihood I will never be able to retire. I won't have the money to do so. Parents of autistic children have divorce rates around 80%.
A great majority of special needs adults are abused by those who care for them after they leave their families. By some estimates, 90% of females are sexually assaulted. Since they cannot talk the assailants are rarely caught or prosecuted.
This is not meant to be "my tale of woe" but rather just an indication of what autism is like. The next time you see a kid having a meltdown in a store, consider that he might be autistic and has no ability to control his emotions. I've met with stares and muttered comments when this happens. Initially I would fly into a near murderous rage. Now I just pity their ignorance. Don't be that person.
Autism affect 1 in 144 children. That's one child diagnosed every 27 minutes. Conversely, your child has a 1 in 15,000 chance of becoming a professional athlete.
My son does not speak. He vocalizes extensively and has an occasional word but nothing approximating speech. He thrives on routine. Removing routine is world shattering for him. Weeks off from school (like this one) are very very disruptive to him (and the rest of the family.)
How so?
Since he thrives on routine, if he wakes up and I'm not home he assumes its a school day and gathers his things (shoes, backpack, jacket) and tries to get out the door. If I am home (day off, working from home) he has an absolute meltdown if we try to put him on the bus to school. Imagine a 6 year old having the worst temper tantrum you've ever seen. Imagine again it lasting for an hour or more.
People with autism frequently have sleep disorders. When my son is agitated (by disruptions in routine or what have you) he can go several days without sleeping. That's not to say he'll just play with toys or whatever. He is also hyperactive so he is absolutely wired for several days. Imagine going to work after a few nights of that.
Repetition is also very common. He frequently wants to watch the same video or do the same activity over and over. If I ever meet the creators of the Teletubbies I'm going to beat an apology out of them. Lately it's been Teletubbies Christmas in the Snow. It's an interminable video that's every bit as bad as it sounds. Perhaps worse. Not only do I have to watch this thing 7 or 8 times in a row. After each viewing, the DVD must be removed from the machine, placed back on the shelf and then removed, reinserted, etc.
If it's not those damn 'Tubbies, it's something like singing a song or counting over and over and over. I love my kids and I'll do anything for them but after a time this becomes a form of psychological torture.
To say autistic people are picky about food is sort of like saying that Germans are kind of strict about rules. He is very sensitive to color and texture. Virtually everything he eats is firm and/or crispy. Apples, pears, toast, crackers, cereal. Yogurt is Of Satan and as such is met with gagging and hitting. Milk is similarly evil. Left unattended it will be either dumped in the sink (glasses) or returned immediately to the fridge (gallon). If I attempt to poison my body with milk from a clear glass my son will make noises indicating distress and hit me. He thinks I'm deliberately trying to provoke him.
He also hits his brothers. Not when he's mad at them. When he's mad at me or my wife. He does it to get our attention as we ignore him if he hits us. How do you explain to a 4 year old that his brother hits him because he's mad at me?
My 4 year old dubbed him the "hitting brother" yesterday. Broke my heart.
When I ask the boys about their brother and understand that he's different they'll say, "He doesn't talk." That's very hard to hear.
Being the parent of an autistic child means always, always being vigilant. My son has no fear, no sense of danger and frequently doesn't answer to his name. He has a condition called pica which means he eats all sorts of things he's not supposed to. Imagine having a giant 60 lbs. toddler.
Vacuuming the house leads to epic meltdowns. Haircuts are full contact affairs that leave both me and him winded, sweaty and covered in hair. Doctors visits are worst of all. The dread that arises in my gorge just thinking about it is enough to give me an anxiety attack.
I will have to care for him for the rest of my life and will worry about who will care for him when I'm gone. I have to structure my finances around caring for him in his old age, not me in mine. In all likelihood I will never be able to retire. I won't have the money to do so. Parents of autistic children have divorce rates around 80%.
A great majority of special needs adults are abused by those who care for them after they leave their families. By some estimates, 90% of females are sexually assaulted. Since they cannot talk the assailants are rarely caught or prosecuted.
This is not meant to be "my tale of woe" but rather just an indication of what autism is like. The next time you see a kid having a meltdown in a store, consider that he might be autistic and has no ability to control his emotions. I've met with stares and muttered comments when this happens. Initially I would fly into a near murderous rage. Now I just pity their ignorance. Don't be that person.
Autism affect 1 in 144 children. That's one child diagnosed every 27 minutes. Conversely, your child has a 1 in 15,000 chance of becoming a professional athlete.
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Best wishes