'Marriage Is for White People'
How's that for an alarmist headline?
Read the whole thing and dispair. I hope the author is merely citing anecdotal evidence and that this trend will reverse itself somehow. I know there are people who bristle at the notion of "family values". It's something many people take as a personal assualt. That is, if you are not part of the traditional nuclear family you are inferior. Not so. It doesn't mean that. It means the nuclear family is optimal for society and we should do our best to encourage that arrangment.
If you don't think so, let me know why, I'd like to hear it.
That is not to say that all other families are bad or that all nuclear families are superior to anything else. Far from it. There are plenty of people who stay married who should divorce and plenty of kids who are better off being raised by grandparents or whomever than they would be with their own parents. The point is we need these bonds to hold us and society together. We need both influences in our formative years. Having a friend or mentor is not the same. Having someone there all the time, good and bad is what makes the difference. Kids go through cycles of favoring one parent over another. For a great while, it was "Mommy Only" for my kids. All of them went through it (and probably will again). Now they're in a Daddy phase. Who knows why. I can't imagine if they didn't have either influence on them. For boys your father is the mold of what a man should be (for better or for worse). That's the reason I find fatherhood so daunting sometimes.
Women are the moderating influence for boys. They are vital to their emotional development in a way that fathers are not and will never be.
Likewise for girls. Fathers are a role model of the man they look for in as a partner. They get most of their other cues about how to be a woman from Mom.
This isn't groundbreaking. Zillions of people before me have made the same point only better. My point is that the two roles are complimentary and vital. Stability is key for children. Remove either of those pillars and you have a recipe for disaster.
How's that for an alarmist headline?
Read the whole thing and dispair. I hope the author is merely citing anecdotal evidence and that this trend will reverse itself somehow. I know there are people who bristle at the notion of "family values". It's something many people take as a personal assualt. That is, if you are not part of the traditional nuclear family you are inferior. Not so. It doesn't mean that. It means the nuclear family is optimal for society and we should do our best to encourage that arrangment.
If you don't think so, let me know why, I'd like to hear it.
That is not to say that all other families are bad or that all nuclear families are superior to anything else. Far from it. There are plenty of people who stay married who should divorce and plenty of kids who are better off being raised by grandparents or whomever than they would be with their own parents. The point is we need these bonds to hold us and society together. We need both influences in our formative years. Having a friend or mentor is not the same. Having someone there all the time, good and bad is what makes the difference. Kids go through cycles of favoring one parent over another. For a great while, it was "Mommy Only" for my kids. All of them went through it (and probably will again). Now they're in a Daddy phase. Who knows why. I can't imagine if they didn't have either influence on them. For boys your father is the mold of what a man should be (for better or for worse). That's the reason I find fatherhood so daunting sometimes.
Women are the moderating influence for boys. They are vital to their emotional development in a way that fathers are not and will never be.
Likewise for girls. Fathers are a role model of the man they look for in as a partner. They get most of their other cues about how to be a woman from Mom.
This isn't groundbreaking. Zillions of people before me have made the same point only better. My point is that the two roles are complimentary and vital. Stability is key for children. Remove either of those pillars and you have a recipe for disaster.
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