This man is trying to kill me
So going alphabetically, I started with, I am not making this up, "AB RIPPER X". Hyperbole thought I. It's fifteen freakin' minutes. Started off strong and going well. I can feel my stomach muscles working and working hard at that. I kept up for the first, oh, 6 minutes or so. By minute 8 I was sucking wind and really feeling it. By the time he was done I was in tears crying for mommy. I laid on the floor and waited for my rubber legs to dissipate so I could get a drink and maybe something to eat. Ha ha, no. I was upstairs and food lives downstairs. I had to go down the stairs on my ass for fear of falling on my face and breaking many things. I ate something, drank some water and went back upstairs to shower. Finished the night with some Hulu and went to bed. This morning when I woke something was very wrong. My oblique stomach muscles were sore but that was to be expected. It really wasn't that bad. Just the normal post workout burn you feel. My hips, however, had been somehow been injected with ground glass. Agony. Stiff and sure agony. I managed to hobble myself to the shower and had to lift each leg behind my thigh to get into the tub. I felt like a freakin' mime. I showered and, again, lifted my legs out of the tub and back to the room. Getting dressed was not easy. I finally got going and started my walk to work. Each step was stabbing pain from the tops of my thighs to the bottom of my ribcage. I asked Mr. Google why that is. Seems my hip flexors are in rebellion. Any attempt at stretching was met with yelps of prostestation and comically limited range of motion.
Got to my office and started working. Around oh, 10:00 AM I had to get up. That was a problem. I had stiffened up from all that sitting. Now when I walked I looked like a guy who had to take a dump or just had taken one in his pants. Walking was so painful I started to sweat. The pain actually decreases with mobility and range of motion gets better but I'm dreading the walk home tonight. This is gonna suck