How will I burn?

John Scalzi has a blog called Whatever. He has a bit about the seven deadly sins and their associated demons. I had no idea that each one had a separate demon. Banality of evil apparently includes division of labor. I wonder if unions are allowed? Anyway, he outlined his propensity toward each particular damnation and I thought I'd follow suit.

Sin: Pride
Your Demon Will Be: Lucifer
Your Eternal Punishment is: To be broken on the wheel
Duffy’s Personal Risk of This Sin Is: Very High

I have a very high opinion of myself. Fortunately I have a wife who reminds me of this rather frequently. The only upside is that I'm at least aware of it and am working on it (though by all accounts, falling rather short).

Sin: Envy
Your Demon Will Be: Leviathan
Your Eternal Punishment is: To be placed in freezing water
Duffy’s Personal Risk of This Sin Is: Low

I'm not big on envy. I don't resent people for having stuff better than I have. I certainly appreciate fine things and acquire them whenever possible but most often I have an appreciation for quality. There is also a very dramatic drop off for me. I've seen cellphones encrusted with jewels and clad in gold and other stupidity. When I see those things I get whatever the opposite of envy is.

Sin: Anger
Your Demon Will Be: Satan
Your Eternal Punishment is: To be dismembered (I guess the limbs grow back)
Duffy’s Personal Risk of This Sin is: Fairly low

As a parent this one has changed dramatically. I used to get angry about a great many things. I spent a year or two in a state of near-anger waiting for a reason to stoke the fires. It's common for young people to be perpetually angry about something. It's often confused with passion. You get older and you (hopefully) mellow out little.

Sin: Avarice (or Covetousness)
Your Demon Will Be: Mammon
Your Eternal Punishment is: To be placed in a cauldron of boiling oil
Duffy’s Personal Risk of This Sin is: Moderate

I certainly confess to seeking The American Dream. No, not the old one of working hard, owning a modest home, raising kids who will be happier and more successful than you. No, I mean the new one. The one where undeserved wealth miraculously befalls you without reason or merit. Like the lottery. I've whittled that wish down to enough money that would allow me to pay the bills, fund my retirement, get tons of therapy for Eldest and let me work at a job that I really like irrespective of how well it pays. I've spoken of this with The Almighty and He said now that I've climbed down from the desire to have a house made of gold and a rocket car that's OK. But this fantasy is rooted in....

Sin: Sloth
Your Demon Will Be: Belphegor
Your Eternal Punishment is: Writhing in a snake pit
Duffy’s Personal Risk of This Sin is: Moderate

I'm not particularly slothful. I am given to fits of it but I get antsy if I don't do anything for too long. My sloth comes from things I just don't want to do. Like taxes. Give me a free afternoon and I'm more likely to spend it cleaning, repairing or improving the house. If that backlog were ever finished (stop laughing), I'd be doing something. Perhaps not work but I'd be up and moving. Life is too short to spend it watching TV.

Sin: Lust
Your Demon Will Be: Asmodeus
Your Eternal Punishment is: To be smothered in fire and brimstone
Duffy’s Personal Risk of This Sin is: Low to Moderate

I'm happily married. I love my wife and she's beautiful. I'm comfortable where I am and am old enough to realize that most women who are insanely good looking are a pain in the ass. I'm also old enough to know that those women don't really look like that. They have an army of stylists and good lighting and so on to make them look way better than they actually do. On the other hand there is Megan Fox....

Sin: Gluttony
Your Demon Will Be: Beelzebub
Your Eternal Punishment is: To be force-fed rats, toads and snakes
John Scalzi’s Personal Risk of This Sin is: Low

I'm not much of a glutton. I enjoy a good meal as much as the next guy but I'm fairly restrained in my appetites. Quality over quantity. Always.


Dana said…
But if you are to be punished for both Envy and Ararice, wouldn't the two cancel each other?
Duffy said…
No I think those run concurrently.

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