I am not making this up.

beep beep boop boop

Phone Lady Voice: "Welcome to audix please enter extension and pound sign."

beep boop boop boop

Phone Lady Voice: "Login incorrect. please enter extension and pound sign."

beep boop boop boop

Phone Lady Voice: "Login incorrect..."

Duffy: grrr.....

beep beep beep boop.

Duffy: Hey.

Duffy's Team Partner: What's up?

Duffy: Is the password for the support mailbox beep boop boop boop?

Duffy's Team Partner: Yeah, why?

Duffy: It's telling me it's incorrect.

Duffy's Team Partner: Let me try. [repeat procedure as above] Hmm...doesn't work.

Duffy: Ok, let me call the phone guy

Evil Phone Guy: Hello?

Duffy: Phone guy?

Evil Phone Guy: Yeah.

Duffy: Hey, I'm trying to log into my mailbox but it's saying incorrect. I didn't change the password.

Evil Phone Guy: Did you try calling the number?

Duffy: No.

Evil Phone Guy: Try that first.

Duffy: Why?

Evil Phone Guy: Just try that first

boop boop boop boop

Phone Lady Voice: You have reached a non-working number at CandyCo. Please...

click.

Duffy: Phone guy?

Evil Phone Guy: Yeah.

Duffy: Did you disconnect my number?

Evil Phone Guy: Yeah.

Duffy: Why?

Evil Phone Guy: Oh, we moved a whole bunch of people last night and eliminated a bunch of numbers nobody was using

Duffy: As well as one that somebody was using

Evil Phone Guy: I sent you an email.

Duffy: No, you didn't.

Evil Phone Guy: I sent it to everyone at NJ Site 1 and NJ Site 2

Duffy: Yeah, but I don't sit in either of those. The mailbox belonged to the previous employee who did.

Evil Phone Guy: Well, I sent an email and nobody told me to keep that number

Duffy: OK, I'm telling you now.

Evil Phone Guy: Doesn't work that way.

Duffy: Why the hell not?

Evil Phone Guy: Because I already turned it off and it's going to be reassigned

Duffy: To whom?

Evil Phone Guy: Don't know yet

Duffy: OK, fine but they're going to be very unhappy with the call volume of people looking for help

Evil Phone Guy: OK.

Duffy: OK!?

Evil Phone Guy: Well, what do you want me to do?

Duffy: Give me my number back.

Evil Phone Guy: Sorry, I already disconnected...

click.

beep beep beep beep

Duffy: Boss?

Duffy's Boss: Yeah?

Duffy: Phone guy disconnected support line

Duffy's Boss: Why?

Duffy: You'd have to ask him that. Something about a move from NJ Site 1 to NJ Site 2.

Duffy's Boss: I'll call you back.

7 minutes later

Duffy's Boss: Everything is fine. Try it now.

beep beep boop boop

Phone Lady Voice: Please enter extension and pound sign

beep boop boop boop

Phone Lady Voice: You have 9 new messages....

Comments

Paul Smith Jr. said…
Bosses can be annoying, but they come in handy at times like this.
3:21 PM
mkfreeberg said…
Doesn't work that way....I already turned it off and it's going to be reassigned

I find, with very few exceptions, this is always the case when an impossibility is stated in passive voice. Someone different needs to be making the call from my end. Or, I need to work with someone different over on the other end. People use subject, verb, object when they have faith in the system and it makes sense to them. If they don't talk that way, they're just being cogs, saying whatever it takes to get you off the phone.

I've often pondered the potential of a line like "Is there someone else there who can help me, someone who won't hide behind excuses" but just kind of assumed that approach might be a little too direct to get the results I would really want. Maybe that needs to go on my "Bucket List." I've always wondered would would actually happen.
5:00 PM
The Last Ephor said…
Also; Things may be turned off with great ease. Turning the very thing back on again somehow requires Olympian efforts. Why this is so is never explainable.
1:16 PM
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