Work is OK but I have a new Admin who has a nasty habit of making changes to production environments without telling me and during the middle of the US workday. He's in Moscow so his workday ending as mine is beginning. He tends to make said changes right before leaving. Also, this contract may/may not be coming to an end here and if so, I have to know soon so I can get my next contract lined up. Being a contractor sucks because you're looking for a job all the friggin time. It's exhausting.
Home is OK but overwhelmingly busy. Youngest is teething which means erratic sleep schedule which is killing me. Oldest is the real issue. I think I've mentioned before that he's autistic with tendencies toward OCD, ADHD and PICA. We've had him on a behavioral medicine and have been trying to manage the dosage. Since neither the wife or I are big on medicating kids (or adults for that matter), we've been weaning him off the meds for some time. We're down to 1/8th of the total dose we were doing before. Since the meds mess with your brain chemistry, it takes a long time to scale up and then down. You can't just take a full dose right out of the gate. You have to start with microdoses and increase over the course of weeks to get to the full dose. Getting to full dose has decreased some behaviors but increased others (and vice versa). On the meds his sleep cycle is more regular. It has an affect on seratonin levels which puts him in a very deep sleep. As an aside, I'll tell you that sleep disorders are very common for autistic people. When he was younger he was only sleeping 4 hours a night. He'd go to bed at 8:00 PM and be up for the day at midnight. For 2 years. Needless to say, we were nearly at the breaking point by the end of that. That was extremely stressful on my marriage and had adverse effects on my job. I was going to fail at one of those and I didn't really like my job that much anyway. I didn't get canned but everybody was happy when I left. We turned that corner and now he's sleeping 8-10 hours a night. The problem is that if he does wake up in the middle of the night, that's it for the day. He's up. So now we're back down to about zero with the meds and it's clear that he has to be on something. He is currently unteachable. He's making no progress in school. He only wants to do "highly preferred activities". He is also stimming much more than usual. Auditory and physical stims are markedly increased. He's also much more aggressive. Inability to communicate is the main cause but there are other triggers. Some are completely unknown. He’ll be playing quietly by himself in one room and for no apparent reason, he’ll bolt from there and hit one of us. The kids don’t understand. They’ve done nothing wrong. How do I explain it?
My only outlet is playing soccer which has been problematic due to some of the people showing up. As noted a significant number of the guys showing up who play a very different game than we’ve been playing. In short, they grab, push, slap and hack. That’s not the game we want to play. For example, I was playing defence against was pretty quick. It was bad enough when he kept elbowing me in the arm and ribs. Fine, whatever. Then, on one deep pass to him, I was the only one he had to beat. We were running full speed side by side. As we reached the ball, he brought his arm over the top of mine (as if making a windmill motion with his arm swinging backwarsds) and slapped me in the face and pushed me off the ball. Needless to say, I lost my shit. I squared off with him and told him if he pulled that again, he’d be picking up his teeth with broken fingers. He was much more restrained after that. A week later, same shit, different guy. This new guy is nicknamed gator. He’s all mouth and no ears. “USE YOUR BODY” is his constant shout. That’s shorthand for “use your arms to illegally push or hold him and get the ball at any cost.” Aggrivating. Another one of these jerkoffs decides to complain about the poor passing of one of his teammates telling him to “use his head” and so on. The guy (correctly) explained that he wasn’t the coach and we don’t play for him so STFU and play or leave. Another guy said we were a bunch of pussies because we complained about the pushing and crap. One of the larger guys explained that it’s not about being a pussy or not, its about the game having rules for a reason and if he wanted, they could find out who the pussy was. That put an end to that one. After that last incident, I said to the guy who organizes this that if those guys were back the next week, I wouldn’t be. He agreed and must have said something because their numbers have dropped. We’ll see if it gets better or worse over time.
All of that is manageable I suppose but I’ve become dispirited about blogging. It started out as something I enjoyed as an outlet. Lately, it’s been a chore. Why bother when there are people who are doing it better, funnier, faster, and more in depth? There’s really nothing distinctive about my blog. I don’t cover some arcane topic(s), the writing blows there’s no analysis to speak of other than some craptacular dashed off tripe. The lack of comments is a clear indicator that my posts don’t generate much thought. Traffic is stuck firmly at zero for the same reason.
Where does that leave me? I don’t have time for investigative journalism. I find local politics to be as interesting as an insurance seminar.
Work is easy to sum up in a few sentences. I make suggestions which are roundly ignored and in the long run, I’ll be proven right. I say this not with pride or a lack of humility it’s just that I’ve seen this movie before and it always ends the same way. Other news flash, users are not all that bright. Scott Adams has made millions with that simple trope and the ground has been trod flat so it’s not as if I’m going to have anything particularly new or insightful to add.
Home is fine but not all that interesting. Love my kids but they drive me crazy. See; Bombeck, Erma et al. Can’t talk about the wife because, well, that’s one of the rules.
Frankly, I’m a better reactive blogger than anything else. I do better when using other posts as a springboard for my own take on things which makes me the lamprey of the blogging world which is a dubious claim to fame at best.
I think I’m just going to refocus myself a bit. The big news stories are probably going to get a pass unless I can think of something I really want to say instead of my current position in which I feel compelled to say something.
Bear with me dear reader(s). Suggestions for improvement appreciated.
Thanks everybody for the comments. I wasn’t fishing for compliments but rather, inspiration. I appreciate the former and I think I’ve found the latter.
Kavips: You flatter me overmuch.