No, I am not making this up

One thing I do here at Nameless Candy Company is batch support. However, for some mystical reason, I don't have access to the console that shows the jobs and their status. Rather, when something goes pear shaped, I get a call from someone on the DBA team usually from our site in The Frozen Hinterlands. I got one this morning and if it weren't for the accent and his struggle with English I would have thought someone was putting me on. The guy who calls people when the alarm goes off, his last name is Pavlov.

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